Absolutely Nothing ("Absolutely Nothing," "we," "us") is an independent business based in California. These terms govern your use of this website and your purchase of an Absolutely Nothing subscription. By subscribing, you agree to them.
Absolutely Nothing is a novelty subscription. Subscribers receive membership in Absolutely Nothing and nothing else. No software, downloads, features, physical goods, or deliverables of any kind are provided, now or in the future. By subscribing, you confirm that you understand this before you pay.
Subscriptions cost $3.99 USD per month, plus any applicable taxes, and renew automatically each month until you cancel. Payments are processed by Stripe. The charge appears on your statement as ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Gift and Teams purchases are billed to the purchaser on the same terms.
You can cancel at any time using the "manage subscription" link in your receipt email, or by emailing tryabsolutelynothing@gmail.com. Cancellation takes effect at the end of your current billing period, and you will not be charged again.
Charges are non-refundable, except where required by law. If you believe you were charged in error, email tryabsolutelynothing@gmail.com and we will review it. Approved refunds are returned to the original payment method, less the payment processing fee charged by our payment provider (about $0.42 on a $3.99 charge), unless the error was ours.
If something about a charge looks wrong, please contact us at tryabsolutelynothing@gmail.com before contacting your bank. We respond within two business days and can usually resolve the issue faster than a dispute can.
Card details are collected and processed by Stripe; we never see or store your full card number. Stripe shares your name, email address, billing details, and purchase history with us so we can manage your subscription and contact you about it. We do not sell your information or use it for advertising. This site sets no tracking cookies; it remembers which link you arrived from for the length of your browser session, and our hosting provider keeps standard server logs. To request access to or deletion of your information, email tryabsolutelynothing@gmail.com.
You must be 18 or older, or have the permission of a parent or guardian, to subscribe.
The service is provided as described above and without any other warranty. To the extent permitted by law, our total liability to you is limited to the amount you paid us in the 12 months before the claim.
We may update these terms. If a change affects your subscription, we will email you before it takes effect. Continuing your subscription after that means you accept the updated terms.
These terms are governed by the laws of the State of California, United States.