You'll be responsible for making sure our infrastructure for delivering nothing never goes down — mostly by making sure it's never turned on in the first place.
What you'll do
- Monitor dashboards that show no data, and confirm they remain empty
- Write incident postmortems for incidents that did not occur
- Own our five-nines uptime SLA for a service with no server
- Hold a theoretical on-call rotation, never triggered
What we're looking for
- Experience with monitoring and observability tooling, primarily to confirm nothing is happening
- Strong written communication, for explaining to stakeholders why there is nothing to report
- Comfortable with ambiguity, and with the total absence of ambiguity, depending on the day
Nice to have
- Cloud platform certifications for infrastructure you will not be provisioning
Compensation
$135,000–$160,000/year base, plus a pager that will never go off.