Absolutely Nothing's Engineering team is responsible for the design, non-implementation, and continued non-delivery of our core product: nothing. As a Senior Nothing Engineer, you'll own critical decisions about what not to build next.
What you'll do
- Maintain 100% uptime by ensuring nothing is ever deployed
- Review pull requests and decline all of them, with kindness
- Partner with Product to scope the absence of new features
- Sit on-call for incidents that cannot occur, because nothing runs
- Write and delete roughly equal amounts of code, netting zero lines shipped per quarter
What we're looking for
- 5+ years of professional software engineering experience, ideally shipping products with fewer features over time
- Strong opinions about architecture, and the discipline to never act on them
- Comfortable operating with no roadmap, no backlog, and no sprint planning
- Bachelor's degree in Computer Science or related field, or equivalent experience doing nothing professionally
Nice to have
- Experience maintaining legacy systems by simply not touching them
- Prior experience at an early-stage startup that also failed to ship anything
Compensation
$145,000–$170,000/year base, plus equity in a company most recently valued at $0.