You'll write the ongoing story of Absolutely Nothing — press releases, investor updates, and engineering notes — in a voice so sincere nobody can tell it's a joke.
What you'll do
- Write monthly company updates announcing milestones that did not happen
- Maintain brand consistency across a universe of fictional executives
- Partner with Legal to ensure our press releases remain technically true
- Draft customer testimonials from customers who are, legally, real people
What we're looking for
- A portfolio of deadpan or satirical writing
- Comfortable writing in corporate voice without ever breaking character
- Background in marketing, journalism, comedy writing, or a demonstrated ability to keep a straight face in print
Nice to have
- Experience in corporate communications and comedy writing, ideally not at the same job
Compensation
$95,000–$120,000/year base, plus full creative control over press releases nobody fact-checks.