You'll sell Absolutely Nothing for Teams to organizations of every size, closing deals for a product with zero onboarding, zero implementation, and zero support burden.
What you'll do
- Run full-cycle enterprise sales for a product that never needs a demo
- Negotiate seat-based contracts for unlimited access to nothing
- Build relationships with procurement teams who will ask, correctly, why this costs money
- Hit quota selling a product with a 100% theoretical retention rate
What we're looking for
- 4+ years closing enterprise SaaS deals
- Comfortable navigating long sales cycles that end in a customer receiving nothing
- Able to keep a straight face through security questionnaires for a product with no infrastructure
Nice to have
- Experience with procurement teams who never ask whether this actually does anything
Compensation
$90,000–$110,000/year base, uncapped commission on a product with a churn-proof $0 marginal cost.